Disclaimer: This isn't one of my most organized posts...it seems a little scattered to me. Kind of like my brain has been lately. So, if you read this, don't judge my organization and writing skills too harshly. It's the best I can do today.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. It has hit me that a tiny new member will be officially joining our family sometime in the next couple of weeks! And, I'm not totally sure I'm ready!
I've been digging through storage to locate needed baby items, washing up tiny baby clothes, putting together my homebirth items, made some new burp cloths (see the fantastic tutorial I used to make them
here) and some gauze swaddle blankets (see another super easy tutorial
here). (This site has such wonderful, easy tutorials for beginning sewing!! If you're a beginner, like me, you've got to check it out - click on tutorials at the top and pick a project. I've learned so much from Dana!)
I actually used some bathroom hand towels that we already had,
and I cut them up to use as the terry cloth side.
It was easier than searching for terry cloth fabric!
I bought the flannel as a small assortment
at Hobby Lobby and used my 40% coupon.
So I think these are going to be worth it!
We pulled out the bassinet and the baby swing to get it ready. And, I searched for the bassinet bedding I bought with Kedesh (which I absolutely LOVED - long skirt, hood cover, soft inside padding...) for 4 DAYS...and I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I HAVE PUT IT!! :( ((Groan)) I'm so frustrated that I'm not more organized!! After much lamenting, I ordered new bedding, and I'm in somewhat of a panic b/c it may not arrive until December...
To make myself feel better, I found an easy online tutorial for making bassinet sheets and made a couple of sheets with some fabric I already had on hand. It'll be ok, right?
Last Saturday night I had a meltdown, partially because I didn't get to finish cleaning and organizing one of the kids' closets. When Gregg said, "It's okay! It's not that important!" I openly wept...how could he think it wasn't important??!!??!!
Can you say "hormonal" and "nesting"??
Well, actually, I think the nesting phase might officially be over as of this week. The items left on my "to do" list no longer seem important - I simply don't have the desire to do them. Today, I'm content keeping up with the kids' schoolwork, laundry, meals, and keeping the house generally tidy. We have limited outside obligations, and we are all awaiting Baby's arrival.
On Thursday, my wonderful midwife arrived with the birthing tub (yes, we plan to have a waterbirth) and the remainder of items I needed for my birthing kit. I can't tell you how excited I was!! I had already brown-bagged and sterilized necessary labor/delivery items and had all the necessary items ready for Baby. So, when the tub and birth kit items arrived, it brought me to the point of "This is going to happen...and I think I'm physically prepared!!"
Now to get myself prepared emotionally and mentally...
So, here I am, at 37 weeks (considered full term), and I'm excited and anxious all at the same time...
If ONE. MORE. PERSON. says something to me like, "Oh, you should have this birthing thing down by now. It's easy after 8, right?"...I might blow a gasket. Biologically speaking, labor and delivery still require contractions, dilation, and pushing! It still requires a tremendous amount of work and concentration. The baby doesn't just jog out of my womb because I've had "lots of other births!"
So, yeah, I admit, I've been running scenarios through my brain. I've been rereading books on relaxation techniques and considering the pain that is sure to come. I've been praying and reading scriptures about fear. Because, as much as I hate to admit it, I always seem to have some level of fear at this point. Fear of pain, fear of baby's health, fear that I won't be able to have the strength it takes, fear that I've forgotten to prepare somehow, etc....
As I visited with my midwife this past week, she took the time to listen to my fears and answer my questions. (That's the neatest thing about hiring a midwife - she sits in my home, speaks kindly to my children, encourages me, and really listens to me. She never seems to be in a hurry, although I am quite sure her life does not revolve around me.) She exuded a confidence and an understanding that 22+ years of midwifery experience has given her...
And, then, Susan held my hands and prayed with me...a sweet, soothing, earnest prayer for God's provisions, His protection, His removing my fears, His glory and His love to be known in and through our family.
Her prayer was balm for my soul that day and has given me strength for the task ahead.
So, I probably won't be writing anymore about preparing for Baby...my next post about Baby will include a picture of the little guy/gal!! (not an ultrasound one!)
We don't know the gender, so we're all excited about the surprise it will be. We took a vote, and the tally of girls:boys vote ratio is 4:6. We shall see!!
(I thought I might write a post on why we chose midwifery and homebirth after having 7 hospital births with wonderful OB/GYNs, but I'm just guessing that one's gonna have to wait...)
